It’s Transformation Tuesday and we’re going to address why you adamantly, like a stubborn jackass who is settling in for an epic battle of wills, refuse to ask for help working through your personal issues.
Why would I need to ask for help?
What’s that? You don’t have any personal issues? Please hold while I turn my head so you won’t see me struggling not to laugh right out loud. I am trying NOT to offend you today.
Listen. We’ve all got some crap to work through – most of us have been collecting personal issues since the days of our youth.
The wonderful thing about life, though, is that we don’t have to carry around burdens or baggage any longer than we choose to. Did you hear that – you have a choice. You can choose to hide behind the hurt and trauma you’ve been stockpiling your whole life, either using it as an excuse to justify behavior or avoiding dealing with it and risking dysfunctional relationships and potentially dis-ease -OR- you can choose to heal it up and let it go.
Perhaps that sounds overly simplistic to you. But my question to you is – have you even tried to heal it up and let it go yet? If not, then how do you know whether it’s just that simple or not?
Exploring why it’s so difficult to ask for help
Because I’m committed to helping people deal with their personal issues, I’ve spent quite a bit of time wondering why so many people refuse to ask for help. Why do we have an epidemic aversion to seeking out assistance?
So, let’s explore why YOU refuse to ask for help in working through your personal issues.
- Do you wonder if it’s even possible to work through them and experience life without your past haunting you?
- Is it a worthiness issue? Do you question whether or not you deserve to live without your baggage?
- Do you use your personal issues as a crutch?
- Are you putting others needs in front of your own? Do someone else’s needs always come first – kids, spouse, significant other, pets, family, job?
- Do you see asking for help as a sign of weakness?
- Is it too hard? Does it cost too much money? Does it take too much time?
- What judgments do you have against others who seek help? Are you afraid they are judging you in a similar fashion?
- Do you feel that you are beyond help?
- Does the idea of working through your issues overwhelm you?
- Are you afraid of being judged by those in a position to help you?
- Do you doubt whether things can ever change or not?
- Are you so used to living with your issues that you can’t fathom what life looks like without them?
Ask for help. You won’t regret it.
For the record, it IS possible to work through whatever personal issues you have. I speak from experience, as I’ve worked (and continue to work) on my own issues – plus, this is how I make a living: by helping other people let go of their past and embrace their future.
There are many resources you can access for assistance in working through your personal issues. I can recommend several excellent self-help books, a few online courses, and I am also available for coaching, guidance, and healing. It’s important for you to find someone that you trust, so whether or not you choose me, I encourage you to find someone who resonates with you.
Challenge: Pause to consider each question thoroughly. Contemplate why it is difficult for you to ask for help, especially when it comes to working through personal issues.
- Answer each of the questions – you may want to start a journal or a blog to reflect on your journey.
- Share your thoughts with us! (Leave a comment, make a post in the Facebook Group, or even shout out on Twitter!)
- Think of one issue you’d like to work on and one resource you can access for help with it.
- In your own creative way, capture what you feel like when you are too stubborn to ask for help. Make a photo album, or a collage and share with us! (Make sure to post your links and/or use hashtag #butterflymaiden so we can find you to interact with you!)
- Schedule a session with a certified life coach or counselor.
Remember that every one of us is working through some kind of personal issue. YOU are worth the time, money, and effort. If you need it, please ask for help.
With mucho a latte of love and respect,
p.s. You are invited to sign up for Transformation Tuesday – thought-provoking posts like this one will show up in your inbox once a week.