I remember with crystal clear clarity (not to mention joy and gratitude) the year I quit guilt. I gave it up cold turkey. And my life changed drastically. Years of beating myself up for my shortcomings, mistakes, and failures were erased in the moment I fully understood just how useless guilt is.
What IS Guilt?
Guilt is an emotion that occurs when a person believes that they have violated a moral standard.”
To understand where your guilt comes from, you must first revisit your personal values and core beliefs. You may be holding on to outdated programs that no longer serve you as an adult. You may be giving your power away to a belief system that no longer applies to your life. You need to identify who and what defined the moral standards you believe apply to you, as well as what constitutes a violation.
Even more important, is to understand – within the framework of your belief system – how you ought to be making amends for these perceived violations. Is there room for Recovery? Repentance? Redemption? And if there is, then why are you still beating yourself up over something you can remedy?
What if guilt isn’t real?
I have a crazy outlandish question for you. What if guilt isn’t even real? What if you continually punish yourself emotionally for these crimes you’ve committed via human nature, and there was no use at all for the self loathing? Interesting, isn’t it?
I want you to consider something for a moment. If you are incarnated on this planet right now, what is the point? Do you have a purpose, a mission? Or are you wandering aimlessly? Do you believe you can mess up your own life to the point that you can never get it back on track? What does that even mean? What if the purpose to living in these human bodies is to gain experience?
Follow me on this one… if you are simply here to gain experience, then wouldn’t it also be safe to say that you can’t do it wrong?
Did you hear that – you can’t do life wrong!
Life – it’s yours for the taking. Your choices are yours for the making. You can’t do it wrong – and I want to show you how you can eliminate guilt from your life for good.
Guilt is overrated, outdated, and useless
Guilt eats at you, sometimes for years, equating to the heaviest of burdens. No matter what you believe, if you are religious or not, there is absolutely no way any form of Divinity would set humanity up for such long-term punishment. Guilt serves no purpose but to make the individual miserable. It does not promote any kind of health or well-being, doesn’t help you progress closer to your goals – it simply keeps you feeling down in the dumps for a very, very long time.
From my perspective, this is counter-intuitive and counter-productive to our mission of gaining wisdom and experience.
Four Steps to Conquer Guilt for Good
1. Every time you have a choice to make or an action to take, look at what the consequences are. You are intelligent and capable of making your own decisions, with the key here being that you pay careful attention to the consequences. Understand that you have free will and you get to choose… it’s helpful to be aware of the cause and effect involved with your decision. In fact, some choices seem less appealing to use when we recognize what they may cost.
2. Next, pay the consequence for the choice you made, the action you took…. ONE time. This is essential for you to understand. You do not beat yourself up repeatedly, you face the consequence, that you already knew would be applicable, and that is that. There is no room for long-term self-punishing pity parties.
3. Learn the inherent lesson in this experience. In every situation, we are gifted with the opportunity to learn. Look back on the guilt you currently carry, and see if you can release it by acknowledging how much wisdom you’ve gained from that particular choice and subsequent consequence.
4. Move on with your life. If you ever have the opportunity to make this same choice again, you are better equipped to make a decision. Follow the same process. Continually.
- You can’t do this wrong, you are here to learn, to grow, to gain experience and wisdom.
- Understand consequences of your choices and be willing to pay them before you take action.
- Pay the consequences for your choice ONE time.
- Learn the lesson inherent in the experience.
- Move on.
- Answer each of the questions – you may want to start a journal or a blog to reflect on your journey.
- Share your thoughts with us! (Leave a comment, make a post in the Facebook Group, or even shout out on Twitter!)
- Deeply contemplate how you can apply these four steps to your life. Can you give up guilt?
I look forward to a discussion on the topic of guilt!
With mucho a latte of love and respect,