Balance: Gotta Learn to Obtain AND Maintain

Elusive Search for Balance

It has occurred to me lately that no matter what I SAY I believe, it doesn’t mean much if I don’t put my money where my mouth is! I often forget all the great and wonderful things I’ve learned over the years about how to ground myself, stay centered, find balance, and peacefully move forward. I get lost in the busy-ness of my day, the perceived urgency of the tasks at hand. When I am ungrounded, time seems to fly by, while I meander in a state of inner chaos. At these times, it feels like I am merely enduring the ride, rather than orchestrating my beautiful life.

And then, when I pause from working on my passion projects – I remember that I, alone, can stop the madness of this carousel. At any moment, I can choose to stop, center myself, breathe, connect, and shift my entire focus until I am aligned with my inner truth. I know how to do this, how to find balance. I know that it works. And yet, I might consciously choose to continue floundering.

boy trying to balance I want to blame this quirk on my humanity. I want to casually joke about how I can’t seem to see the forest for the trees, that I can’t figure out how to find my balance.

But I know better. And if I dig a bit deeper – it’s more than just a quirk. My tendency to get swept away by the unimportant details is a form of Self-Sabotage. That’s right – so long as I can justify to myself that I am BUSY doing things that have some value, then I can avoid getting down to the nitty gritty.

New (and more pertinent questions) arise:

  • Why am I sabotaging myself?
  • What is it I am avoiding?
  • Why do I put off having peace and harmony in my every moment?
  • I know better, so why am I not putting this knowledge to good use?
  • When am I going to commit to my priorities?

These questions don’t have simple answers.

Wait. Yes, they do.

The answers are simple, but the process of discovering the answers isn’t. Answering these questions requires me to be very honest with myself. Sometimes this type of honesty scares me. At the same time, this raw connection with my self is also rewarding and satisfying. I haven’t been doing the little things every day that I KNOW will keep me centered, grounded, in harmony with my divinity. I’ve gotten lost in the belief that I have to get it all done today.

I am living proof that balance is not a destination, once you’ve learned how to obtain it – you’ve got to learn how to maintain it.

Here at The Butterfly Maiden Project, we explore topics like balance, stress, authenticity, unconditional love, and personal transformation.

What tips and tricks have you learned to help balance your life? Leave a comment below!

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12 Responses

  1. Maya Peta
    | Reply

    Committing to the actions that will keep you in balance is a lifelong lesson to learn. As you age, you’ll choose to commit rather than to flounder. It is increasingly difficult for me to get back in balance now, but I rarely get knocked off my foundation anymore, either. You’ll get it.

    I actually suspect you’ve already got it, and you merely want others to explore their answers to your questions. Sneaky girl.

  2. sarah
    | Reply

    “what are you avoiding?”

    such a simple question! i’ve been wanting to write my applied simplicity coursebook for quite a while but the furthest i’ve gotten is drawing up the mind map. every day i have an opportunity to get started but i end up burying myself in the internet (there is just so much to read!) or the tv and never getting started. my priority is currently consuming rather than producing something wonderful.

    so what am i avoiding?


    • Janet Louise Stephenson
      | Reply

      I love it when you take the time to ask yourself a question and then wait for the answer! In your case, Sarah, I want to point out – it’s PERCEIVED failure, not actual failure. So, dig a little deeper and ask yourself why you assume you will fail? xo

  3. Greta Boris
    | Reply

    Interesting thoughts, Janet. I find that having God on the other side of the teeter totter helps my balancing act in life:)

    • Janet Louise Stephenson
      | Reply

      Thanks for your comment, Greta. Question for you – does God do the balancing for you? Or do you still need to make time to be quiet, still, centered, etc.?

  4. Susan Silver
    | Reply

    Someone once told me that there is no such thing as work/life balance. I think we end up doing things when we are ready to do them. A lot of writers I know say that their best tool is procrastination. Sometimes tasks, no matter how much we want to get them done, are not what we need to do in the moment. It just takes us a while of whining to figure it out. *lol*

    • Janet Louise Stephenson
      | Reply

      Thanks for sharing this perspective, Susan! I, personally, would like to subscribe to this line of thinking – as one who ebbs and flows through my projects, I certainly know how to ride the wave when I’m feeling it. I’ll keep pondering this tidbit… thanks!

  5. sheri
    | Reply

    Wow as my balance is so off right now….I can relate to your subject. This time of year I took on some things that I wanted to do for me and because of holidays and birthdays and work and a whole lot of stuff I am trying to cram it all in and therefore I am starting to resent some things that I usually enjoy…thinking I just need to breath and re think or should I say change my thoughts towards this time of year. Very good topic!

    • Janet Louise Stephenson
      | Reply

      Good luck finding your center, Sheri! This time of year is notorious for trying to cram everything in!

    • Edward
      | Reply

      Hello Sheri – if you have not checked this guy out yet in your search for career opportunities, I found his advice and wisdom to be awesome for I am searching too – – He is on twitter, he speaks often, he is a teacher, he has a great blog about career branding and he’s a LinkedIn guru as well – best wishes to you in your search. Edw.

  6. Edward
    | Reply

    Excellent Janet – Ah yes, the art of balance! It is something that we all need to practice on a daily basis. As a little hint that I practice often – go outside, kick off your shoes and dig your toes into the grass. While doing so think of yourself connecting with the earth as you feel the power that runs up through you. Go back inside and continue to write, it might just amaze and delight – and no I do not have painted toe nails 😉 Edward

  7. Dennis E. Roberts
    | Reply

    Perhaps my question applies to many, including me:)

    Fear of Sucess, is that a fear, a whisper we inwardly hear? Okay, I do, yet how many others do too? I have no fear of a succesful answer, or do I ? 🙂

    Have a fantastic weekend, Y,all <3

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